If Only You Could Read...

Dear Little Bean,

I wrote down my feelings the day I found out I was pregnant with you. It was very early on a Saturday morning (February 27 to be exact) and I just knew something was different. I climbed out of bed at 5:30 a.m. to take a pregnancy test and within what felt like 2 seconds the test read...PREGNANT. I did a little happy dance, much like that of Hugh Grant in Love Actually (you'll come to learn this is my favorite movie), and climbed back into bed. I woke your Father to tell him of the good news but sometimes men aren't overly keen on being woken by a barking dog, a giddy wife and bright lights all around. I laid there for what felt like 3 years trying to fall back asleep. But visions of you and all things baby were too much to allow my mind to sleep.

Leading up to taking the test, I had a very vivid dream of pacing the upstairs hallway from what will be your nursery to the office. In this dream I was holding the sweetest baby boy and in it I could feel how much I loved you even in my sleep. I will always cherish that dream.

It's hard for me to imagine all that will change when you finally arrive and yet I can't comprehend what things will remain the same. I've never experienced anything like pregnancy before. It brings about feelings of apprehension, elation and joy. I feel so blessed to have gotten pregnant so quickly and despite the sometimes endless nausea and exhaustion, it is the most exciting thing I've ever done in my life. I want you to know and always remember that we wanted a baby. We hoped and prayed for our lives to be forever changed by you. We are in awe of God's mercy and grace to allow us to play a very small role in creating your life. He's chosen your body as a place for His spirit to dwell and we are waiting to see all that He's created you to be. I daydream of holding you, what you will look like, the sound of your voice, and your good newborn smell.

So dear son or daughter, stay comfy and grow perfectly in God's image. We'll be here counting down the days until November 5 (or whatever day you choose to arrive).

Love Always,

Mom and Dad!